beach!

I am the happiest man in the world right now. today was AMAZING.

seikai

so... I am so happy now. I found the most perfect girl who makes me happy every second I spend with her.

she lives with her ex. he knows we like eachother... he asked her out again.

he had his chance and he blew it. I just hope she will give me a chance.

hontou ni hikari ga mecha suki.

define: spontaneous

I found something that I lost...

me.

I was so caught up in trying to please someone who wanted me to change that I had disregarded what makes me myself.
fuk that!

I will never be able to plan my entire day start to finish down to the minute. Quite honestly, I think doing that is stupid. and causes stress. and stress makes you die.

I am spontaneous. I love to go with the flow. I will always be happy. and that is how I live.

so I woke up on saturday and called ed:
me: "we're going driving, and driving, and driving, and then we will camp!"
ed: "where?"
me: "south! ... ALL THE WAY!!!"

the second I let go, I felt AMAZING. a sense of euphoria surrounded me and I felt alive again.



wb Jay

listening to: deadmau5 - Strobe

past and present

what is right and wrong?

I did many things because they were dreams... I also gave up things for those dreams

when a dream turns out to not be as important as the things you are giving up, how do you recover from the time lost?

there is no way to know what the right choice is before you go for it.

the things I've learned in my job were valuable to my ability to become successful...

but they hurt my relationship...

is that my fault or hers? my ability to balance with the changes or her ability to accept them? is it my fault that I wanted more? is it her fault that she wanted more and I needed to find a way to provide it?

there is no answer... we all make decisions which we regret.

I did learn something though: love is the most important thing in the world. never let it go.